I had no real clue of how tough a working mother had it. Constantly feeling torn between duties at work and duties at home. I also had no clue that sleeping for more than 5 hours would become a luxury and not a part of my daily life.
I started my company years back but since it was undercapitalized when I learned I was pregnant, I immediately ran to the idea of getting a steady job with benefits to cover the medical costs.
Since I started my new job while pregnant, I did not accrue enough sick and vacation time to go on maternity leave. I was forced to work while in the hospital and had three clients waiting for me upon my arrival home. While pregnant, I worked for my new employer while moonlighting and continuing my business - it was not the best situation but necessary. The strain from pregnancy and working two jobs had its toll on me though. After giving birth, I was absolutely exhausted but now I had no time to catch my breath.
I had always been a go-getter and did what I had to do. So, working 60 -80 hours per week had always been the norm for me. Besides, I am a New Yorker where no one works less than 50 hours per week. I thought I could do both, be a great mom and work a demanding schedule.
However, I was finding it harder and harder to get on a train, travel 1 hr and 45 minutes and begin my 60-80 hour work week after resting for only 2-3 hours. My son has a severe case of asthma and had been admitted into the hospital multiple times before he reached his first birthday. The pressures from a demanding job coupled with my son's health had become overwhelming. I often felt as though I was drowning.
My husband expected me to be "the mom" and stay at home with our son when he was sick or on the borderline of becoming ill, needed to go on an appointment, family trips, school trips, plays, volunteer activities, etc. Feeling extremely concerned for my son, I never challenged my husband's expectation. After all, I am the woman, right? I started to feel like I was drowning. The increasing pressure from work had its toll on me. Not to mention the growing demands of being a new mom and wife. I no longer craved the thrill of climbing the corporate ladder. My employer noticed it as well. So after 18 months of working I returned back to managing my business full time. By then the economy had grown worse and two weeks later my husband lost his job.
Upon returning to my business full-time after leaving it for three years, I quickly learned how much the market had changed during that time. I had to work 20 times as hard to catch up. And now with my husband being out of work, I definitely had to produce. I worked around the clock, starting my day at 3:30 in the morning ended it well into the night. I was able to grow the business and sustain the family.
My husband found a new job and a new attitude. I noticed that once he was back on his feet, his expectation of me doing the lion share of the home duties had significantly heightened offering little time for me to do focus on my growing business. Starting and running a successful business had been a life long dream of mine since I was 10 years old and worked with my Junior Achievement mentor.
So now, the question is... how do you balance all demands? What is fair?
